


as long as you're mine

by lostin_space



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post-Season/Series 01, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22219867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: “If I left Roswell and asked you to come with me, would you?”Michael furrowed his eyebrows as Alex stepped up to him with what felt like the heaviest question in the world. Screw every philosophical question ever written–that was the hardest one.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 23
Kudos: 207





	as long as you're mine

**Author's Note:**

> did you expect me to NOT use this line again?

“If I left Roswell and asked you to come with me, would you?”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows as Alex stepped up to him with what felt like the heaviest question in the world. Screw every philosophical question ever written–that was the hardest one.

They’d been doing good as friends. Months of it had led to a chaste kiss and the promise that they’d talk it out when they weren’t exhausted. Then Alex had disappeared for three days. And now, here he was, wielding that damn question.

“Where are you going?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yeah, actually,” Michael said with a scoff, “If you’re just trying to get away, then no. As much as I want to, no. I have to be here to help my family. But… If you’re coming back…”

“I’m reenlisting,” Alex said, voice cool and calculated. Michael’s stomach dropped.

“What? Why the hell would you do that?”

“You know why.”

And Michael did. It was because of him. Michael felt sick. He closed his eyes and tried to will the feeling away before looking back at Alex’s determined face.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Too late.” Michael gulped hard. “But, if we get married, you can come with me wherever I might be thrown. I won’t be doing active duty, or, not really.”

“Wait, back up, _marriage_? We barely just learned how to have a conversation!” Michael insisted. Alex let out a slow breath and his jaw clenched.

“I don’t really have the time to make things perfect beforehand, but, if I leave without you, they might never be fixed,” Alex said simply, “So, do you want to come with me?”

This must be how Alex felt every time Michael threw a truth bomb at him.

“Can I think about it?” Michael asked softly. Alex licked his lips, but nodded.

“I have to know before Thursday,” Alex said and then he turned and swiftly walked away.

He didn’t even give him a moment to talk it through. Way to make it all the more difficult.

-

“How long would you be gone?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where would you be going?”

“I don’t know.”

“What would you even do there?”

“ _I don’t know._ ”

Michael was sitting in a blanket fort with Liz, Maria, and Isobel and trying to decide what the hell to do. He told them about Alex’s proposition and how he genuinely didn’t know what to do. He wanted Alex, but did he really want to abandon everyone for it? Was he really ready to give up everything for him? If he’d asked him that eleven years prior, Michael wouldn’t have hesitated. Now he was lost.

“You need to ask for more information,” Isobel insisted, “It’s not fair to you.”

Michael dropped his head in his hands. “You didn’t see his face though. He was expecting me to reject him.”

“Well… Maybe it won’t hurt as bad if you do,” Liz said. Michael shook his head. He didn’t want to hurt Alex at all. But did he really want the commitment of it all?

“This is so hard,” Michael groaned.

“Well, do you love him?” Maria asked. He almost laughed at the question. If Alex’s question was the hardest in the world, that was the easiest.

“Yeah, no question. But I’m scared if I jump into it, it’ll crash and burn like before,” Michael said, shaking his head, “I don’t know if I’m ready for all that. I don’t know if I can go all in right now.”

“Maybe you should go talk to him? Like, figure out all the details of what he means. He sort of just sprung it on you with no details,” Isobel said. Michael held his breath and tried to imagine what it would be like to go with Alex and then what it would be like to simply keep in touch.

They were both hard.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go talk to him.”

-

Michael let himself into Alex’s cabin like he always did. Buffy greeted him and he gave her a few pats before letting her lead the way to Alex. He was pretty shocked when she led him to the bedroom. Less shocked when it was actually the bathroom. Significantly, ridiculously shocked when he saw what Alex was doing.

“What are you doing?! That’s so not necessary!” Michael exclaimed. Alex sighed and turned the shaver off. He hadn’t gotten rid of his hair just yet, but the fact that he was going to had Michael’s heart in his throat. “You don’t have to have a complete buzzcut, Alex.”

“It’s the mindset, Guerin.”

That one sentence hit Michael like a blow to the stomach. The mindset. Alex was becoming The Soldier again. The one who isolated himself, the one who worked too hard, the one who only relaxed whenever he got the chance to collapse in Michael’s bed.

And things clicked.

Alex’s proposition wasn’t _“come with me or keep in touch”_. The proposition wasn’t even a proposition at all. It wasn’t an ultimatum. It was Alex saying _“keep me grounded”_. It was Alex saying _“help me”_. And suddenly the question wasn’t if Michael would follow if Alex physically left Roswell. It was if he could follow him into his head, cradle the parts of him that were scared of what was to come and coped in unhealthy ways. And things were no longer difficult for Michael.

Michael loved Alex, even the parts of him that were scary and closed off. He could love the soldier in him. He could extend his arm and help. He could be the safe place for once.

“Let me see,” Michael said softly. He moved closer and held his hand out for the shaver. Reluctantly, Alex handed it over.

They both watched as Michael shaved Alex’s head, cleaning the sides up completely and leaving about an inch on top. He did his best to make it fade well. It was a compromise.

Michael ran his hand through the top of Alex’s hair when he was done and then kissed the prickly side of his head.

“We’ll go to the courthouse in the morning,” he whispered.

Alex finally breathed.

**Author's Note:**

> also on my tumblr: spaceskam


End file.
